Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Stuck in the moment

Well, wow this is long over due.  I can't lie, I'm caught up in the world of maintenance right now and thoroughly enjoying every week that passes that we don't have to drive into the hospital.

The first week of maintenance is behind us and we're on to the second and things have been going well.  During the first week we had a bit of a battle with nausea and Brin had a hard time keeping food down.  We tried different forms of zofran, and have finally found that having her swallow a zofran melt away works best for Brin.  Last Thursday she had her methodrexate dose, which sent me running to the computer to look up side effects, as the days following were a bit rough.  Brin woke up Friday with a major headache and a pair of very very sore legs.  When she did walk around the house she would be on her very tippy toes again, trying to release some of the pain in her legs.  I gave her morphine and it helped a little bit, but she was still in a lot of pain.  She ended up sleeping most of the day away.  The days following she really picked up and bounced back pretty quick.  I haven't been letting her play soccer at all, mainly afraid of her "over -doing"  and getting sick.  Something I want to avoid since Disney world is 21 days away!

During this down time I've also had a few moments to sit, be still and really take in the last 7 months.  I've felt things that I've never imagined myself capable of feeling.  I've put my head in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably, I've had to pry myself away from my daughter, while her eyes close in a number of surgeries she's had.  I've had moments of overwhelming joy and sorrow.  I've celebrated milestones along the way, and I've cursed at the set backs.  I've felt completely helpless and lost, and I've had moments of strength and power.  The last 7 months have been a roller coaster, and the ride still isn't over, but each day I find more room to breathe.

So cheers to hair loss, hair growth, fewer hospital visits, and having the energy to run and play.  Hats off to those who have encouraged, supported, and helped along the way, even if you were an ear to listen to me rant, thank you, you've made cancer easier to deal with. 


  1. And so welcome to maintenance, and now time to sit and
    think of what you have all gone through these past 7 months.

    It must almost feel like you came to a standstill in some ways,
    in others, it is also time to savour the moment, reflect as you
    seem to be doing, and think "we made it" we have actually got
    through it, one part of the journey is complete!. Well done,
    very well done.

  2. Cheers , Well done!!
    Sit back relax, smile and
    Enjoy the summer, Take one day at a time!