Tuesday, December 21, 2010

consolidation here we come

The hospital called today about Brinley's urine test that was done on the Saturday Blake had brought her in with a fever.  Looks like monkey has a UTI. So after telling her no more medicine everyday, looks like we have 10 days of antibiotics. On top of it the chemo is starting to wear on her nerves and you can see it when she walks.  She has always walked on her toes, but lately it seems more severe, as if she's trying to relieve some kind of pain in her muscles.  Watching her sit on the floor is painful because she moves like an 90 year old woman with prosthetic hips.  Her arms hurt and she often complains of her bones being sore, thank god for codeine. Even though she's much happier, and perky, her body is taking a toll with all the effects from chemo, and it will only get worse.  Even though the cytarabine and methotrexate  are fed into her cerebral spinal fluid to avoid some of the pain and nerve damage, it's not ALL avoidable.

I called her oncology unit today and found out that not all of her results are in, but some of them are.  Based on those results it looks like we will be starting consolidation on thursday.  Brinley will undergo 3 more *different* doses of chemo, and have another surgery, and more than likely take oral chemo home. Blake will also come with us because we will probably meet with her doctor to discuss her new 6-7 month protocol.

Looks like another very long thursday is in store.  I just hope she's not super sick for christmas, and can actually enjoy her gifts.

As a parent, witnessing this, and living in these moments, it really plays on your nerves. Most of the time I feel like I'm barely holding it together, and there are times where I feel so removed from the situation I just want to avoid, avoid, avoid.

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