Monday, April 18, 2011

Hurry up and wait

Today was the dreaded day 29...or so we thought.  I've had my own anxiety about this day for a week, mainly because I just got my little monkey back.  We had such a horrible week before last with Brin being lethargic and sickly, that I was worried that we would be thrown back into that mess today.  However Brinley did not pass her blood counts today, so we are delayed a week.  Everything from Thursday has dropped quite a bit, most importantly her ANC has dropped a lot, and she don't want her to bottom out with today's doses of chemo.

That being said I'm kind of frustrated with the situation.  I told the nurses on Thursday how she had been acting the prior week, and they never mentioned that if she was showing signs up fatigue that they would transfuse until today.  So had I known that I could have gotten a CBC, and we could have given her blood products, and we would probably be able to go ahead with day 29 today.  I blame myself because I'm usually neurotic about these things, and knowing very detail and what to do.  Part of me thought I should call if when she was acting so sick, but she didn't have a fever, pain, cough, runny nose, constipation, diarrhea, any of those "must call in" signs.  She was just very very tired, and "out of it".  So now I face the anxiety of day 29 all over again, hoping her counts go up enough to have her weeks dose.  I know this was to be expected, but it's one thing to try and mentally prepare, and another thing to actually have it happen to you. 

Reading a book with Dad.
We're very lucky to have daddy
with us today. And lucky him, because
he gets to come back next week too!
Anyways, this week we'll have a mellow week, let Brin re-coop and attack day 29 next week. At least she'll be ok for the Easter bunny...


  1. Almost every kid has a delay at exactly this point in the treatment, even if they had given her blood or platelets it all comes down to the neutrophils and they don't give them anything that boosts those particular counts. You did nothing wrong. My daughter had a 1 week delay at that stage and her platelets and hemoglobin were fine, but her neutrophils weren't and I was told that this is almost expected. And don't be surprised if you get a 1 week delay before they start maintenance, happens to almost everyone, and that won't be your fault either. You are a great mom, doing the best you can, in a crappy situation.


  2. Good morning Morgan, please don't get down on yourself, look at it as a
    reprieve for Easter and the grand Easter home!

    You are doing such a good job at researching and keeping yourself
    on top of things, but as we all know, nothing always goes according to
    plan. So enjoy your week together, and then "game on mode" after that.

    Have a great week and Hi to everyone.